CHANGE CHANGE AND MORE CHANGE

Let me just say I do not do well with change. The closer I get to leaving, it is scaring me to death. I am a creature of habit. i function better with routine. Routine is comfortable to me even if its my prison like routine everyday. Leaving my husband will be a HUGE change. I know it will be for the best but my anxiety is building on all. On top of this huge life change, I just found out that my job is changing locations in March. We are moving to the complete other side of town. It is a good move but its still a change. I have been given an opportunity for another job if I want it, but again that means change. I guess the change fairy is spreading her dust because my daughter called and told me that her dad and stepmother bought a home the next town over and they are moving in the next two weeks. She will have to change schools, again. I know change can be good and is part of life, I don’t know why it gives me such anxiety. My husband has not been bad the last few weeks and although I have not changed my mind about leaving, I have had comfort in the day to day routine the last few weeks. I feel like I’m standing at the edge and I have my parachute, but I don’t quite have the guts to jump yet.

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7 thoughts on “CHANGE CHANGE AND MORE CHANGE

  1. Sofia Leo says:

    Abusers know you don’t do well with change and use that knowledge to keep you where they want you. Speaking from experience, change is hard, but it will lead you away from the Crazy you live with now. Very soon after you leave you will look back and not believe your “prison life” was your actual existence. Be strong!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Breathe and be kind to yourself…so much change in a short period of time feels overwhelming…one moment at a time gets us through it💜

    Liked by 1 person

  3. DotedOn says:

    Big hug to you!
    All the angels will be with you when you decide to leave.
    And I know change is scary. I could only escape when I felt that nothing could be worse than how my life was at the time. And I was right, the change was hard (still is) but it’s much better.
    You can do it! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I just had this conversation this morning with my sister about how I am scared of not being able to handle the changes that will come with my “escape” BUT she reminded me of something important that I want to share with you. Our “Normal” is not normal. What we live with and the feeling of that being safe and routine is only because we have become conditioned to that. For a while, it will feel strange to have your autonomy restored and the ability to make choices for yourself or not have your adrenal glands screaming in a heightened state at all times but much like drug withdrawal, we will make it out of the other side and learn again how to live a “normal” life. Be strong. My countdown is ticking too.

    I would also recommend this blog which has some great posts about “detoxing” from these people: http://www.solongsociopath.wordpress.com

    Liked by 1 person

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